It is a truism that ultimately, spiritual work is the work of one. When it comes down to it, each of us is responsible for putting in the time and effort required to grow, because no one can do the work in our place. No one can meditate for you. No one can serve in your place, or make your choices for you. Your freedom of expression may be restrained by means of aggression, but how you respond to any given set of circumstances always rest squarely on your shoulders (Philosophy of Existence 101).
Though ultimately the work of one, any individual spiritual practice that does not consciously include both the feedback and participation of others is bound to seem incomplete. While no one can do your work for you, the role of others on the spiritual path is integral in the deepest sense of the word. Our spiritual lives are embedded in social contexts that may be repressed or consciously ignored, but never truly escaped.
Including others is messy. Fellow travelers may provide helpful support and guidance when we need it most, which I’m sure we would all agree is beneficial to our respective practices. We also find ourselves having to deal with disagreements, setbacks, and other frustrations that arise in relationship and seem to get in the way of the things we would rather be doing for the sake of our own path. It can be difficult to find the motivation to help our neighbor work through their shit when we have enough of our own shit to work through.
Here’s the funny thing about shit: it’s fertilizer. The very stuff that we don’t care to mix into our lives is the stuff that helps each of us grow and mature spiritually. The moments of our lives which you might regard as a waste (pun intended) of your precious time and energy are some of the most useful for your development. Difficulties can become the sustenance you need to make the journey; the fuel that powers your vessel onward.
In this day and age, when and where intimate involvement with others is nearly unavoidable by most, it makes practical sense to include others in our spiritual work in a conscious and intentional way. The responsibility to engage in your work is still yours and yours alone. Given the circumstances, don’t sell yourself short by going it alone. Instead, I suggest going it alone-together. This doesn’t mean that you simply need to learn to tolerate others enough to get by. It means that there is a potent well-spring of energy waiting for those who learn to consciously and deliberately tap into it. What better way is there to mobilize your efforts in a pragmatic and responsible way? These days, I’d say there isn’t one.
Regardless, of course, the choice is yours.